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Jokes

Funny Marriage Jokes

marriage in garden
photo by Leland Francisco

A man meets a genie.

The genie tells him he can have whatever the wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double.

The man thinks for a moment and then says, “OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death.”


A couple was having a discussion about family finances.

Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!”

The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, I wouldn’t be here.”


A man said his credit card was stolen.

He decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife.


The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday:

Forget it once.


Words to live by:

Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.


First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel.”

Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine is still alive.”


The reason women will never be equal to men.

Men can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.