22 facts of Marriage
What couples say and do before and after marriage.
Before – You take my breath away.
After – I feel like I’m suffocating.
Before – Twice a night.
After – Twice a month.
Before – She loves the way I take control of a situation.
After – She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.
Before – Ricky & Lucy.
After – Fred & Ethel.
Before – Saturday Night Live.
After – Monday Night Football.
Before – He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After – If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done.
Before – Don’t Stop.
After – Don’t Start.
Before – The Sound of Music.
After – The Sound of Silence.
Before – Is that all you are eating?
After – Maybe you should just have a sandwich, honey.
Before – Wheel of Fortune.
After – Jeopardy.
Before – It’s like living a dream.
After – It’s a nightmare.
Before – $60/dozen.
After – $1.50/stem.
Before – Turbocharged.
After – Needs a jump-start
Before – We agree on everything!
After – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?
Before – Victoria’s Secret.
After – Fruit of the Loom.
Before – Feathers & handcuffs.
After – Ball and chain.
Before – Idol.
After – Idle.
Before – He’s lost without me.
After – Why can’t he ask for directions?
Before – When together, time stands still.
After – This relationship is going nowhere.
Before – Croissant and cappuccino.
After – Bagels and instant coffee.
Before – Oysters.
After – Fish sticks.
Before – I can hardly believe we found each other.
After – How the hell did I end up with someone like you?