Category: Jokes
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Parrot And Ugly Lady
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said, “Hey lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went…
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Life As A Female Bear
If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your…
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Simple Woman’s Prayer
Now I lay me Down to sleep. I pray the Lord My shape to keep.Please no wrinkles Please no bags And please lift my butt Before it sags. Please no age spots Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy Please keep me young, And thank you…
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Clueless Woman Driver
My rant on a clueless woman driver: Driving to the office this morning on the highway, I looked over to my left and there was this idiotic woman in a brand new Mercedes speeding at 65 miles per hour with her face up next to the rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked…
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Catholic Dog Dies
O’Connor lived alone in the Irish countryside with only his beloved pet dog for company. Sadly one day the Catholic dog passed away and O’Connor went to his local parish priest and made a simple request in honor of the fallen animal. “Father, me dog is dead. Could you be saying a final mass for…
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Senior Couple Food Order
A senior couple is sitting on a bench in front of a large pond enjoying their time together. On the other side of the tranquil pond are people selling delicious varieties of of food. The wife turns to her husband and says, “I could really enjoy an ice cream cone.” He kindly answers, “Well since you’re in the mood, I’ll get…