Author: Leonard Kreicas

  • Bar Pick-Up Lines

    Looking at you makes my phone vibrate! If I could be anything, I’d be your body lotion! Your name must be Daisy because I’d like to plant you right here! Your father must be a butcher, because you have two FINE pieces of meat right there! I’m no glass of milk but I can still…

  • Southern Customs For Northerners

    If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in life styles. If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a…

  • Cowards And Corrupt Politicians

    A member of the United States Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in mid-session and began to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other Senators demanded that the angry member withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of…

  • Where Is God?

    A couple had two little girls, ages eight and ten, who were always in trouble. They were always getting caught causing problems and their parents always felt that if any bad deeds were reported in town, that their two young daughters were in some way involved. The parents were at the end of their rope…

  • Lake Michigan revived by Viagra

    A freighter containing 62,000 metric tons of popular impotence drug Viagra struck a reef and sank in Lake Michigan today. As a result, the once-frigid lake no longer dangles into Illinois and Indiana, but now spans majestically across northern Wisconsin. According to eyewitnesses, roughly 30 to 60 minutes after the ship’s contents dissolved, the lake…

  • 24 Female Truths

    You cannot be a failure. The worst you can be is a housewife. If you commit a crime, you can blame it on what a man did to you at sometime in your life. Why get a driver’s license when you can get a boyfriend? People don’t assume you’re gay if you’re still a virgin…