Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Bumper Stickers About Driving
Driving Lessons The Bumper Sticker Guide Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal. If you believe in telepathy, think about honking. If you can read this, I’ve lost the trailer! Stoplights timed for 30 mph are also timed for 60 mph. Follow that car, Godzilla – and step on it! Don’t bother honking or…
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Bumper Stickers About People
The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you…
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Bumper Stickers About Science
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance. If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it. Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm). Does anal retentive have a hyphen? Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. Gravity: It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law. Alcohol and…
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Bumper Stickers About Religion
The meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it. If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas! Jesus saves. He uses double coupons. Jesus loves you. But I’m his favorite. Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you’re a jerk. I found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all the time. Thank…
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Bumper Stickers About Politics
Frodo failed. Donald Trump has the ring. If you can read this, you’re not the president. The last time politics and religion were mixed, people were burned at the stake. Vote Democrat – it’s easier than working! Vote Republican – it’s easier than thinking! In America, anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks…
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Pick-Up Line Comebacks
M: I know how to please a woman. W: Then please leave me alone. M: I guess you’re pretty good at pleasing yourself then. M: I want to give myself to you. W: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts. M: Oh, just cheap perfume then. M: Your hair color is fabulous. W: Thank you. It’s…