Author: Leonard Kreicas
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50 Practical Jokes In An Elevator
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!” Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly. Sell Girl…
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Funny answer after asking God for a parking spot
A man, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a crowded lot. Looking up to the sky he pleaded “Lord if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right…
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38 resume blunders by job candidates
“I am a rabid typist.” (And a maniac with numbers, no doubt.) “Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.” (If she insists …) “Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine.” (In the front office of a kennel, right?) “I don’t usually blow my own horn, but in this case, I will go right ahead and do…
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College Grad Sweeps Floor
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I…
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God Offers His Commandments
God approached the Italians first to offer them his ten commandments. “What commandments are you offering?” they asked. He answered that one of them is, “Thou shalt not murder.” They answered, “Sorry, we are not interested.” Next he offered the ten commandments to the Romanian people. “What commandments do you offer?” they said. He replied…
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Writing A College Paper
Unspoken Method On Writing A College Paper Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer. Log onto chat, Facebook and Twitter (be sure to go on away!). Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some…