Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Husbands Cannot Win
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife: “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!” His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the…
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Lessons From Mama
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!” My mother taught me RELIGION: “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to…
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Lawyer’s Billable Hours
A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving at heaven the lawyer protested it was to early for him to die, because he was only 32 years old and there must be some mistake. The angel listened and agreed that perhaps there was some mistake and promised to review the case. After…
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Quarantine Quiz
Learn something new every day during quarantine to prove you did something besides watch depressing news shows. Where did the phrase “Piss Poor” come from? People used urine to tan animal skins, so families used to pee in one pot and then once a day take the urine and sell it to the tannery…if you…
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Random Thoughts
Never raise your hands to your kids: it leaves your groin unprotected. I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. I am in shape. Round’s a shape… I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would…
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Shopping By Man Versus Woman
If you think a woman and a man shop the same, think again. Here’s what each gender does while visiting a grocery store. Woman Park the car. Get a cart. Take grocery list and coupons out of purse. Fill the cart with items from list in record time, being careful to check prices. Place the…