Author: Leonard Kreicas
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You are from the South if you believe this
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You think a woman who is “out…
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Official Baby Boomer Quiz
QUESTION #1: Name the Beatles – both the first and last name of each, of course. Consider this a warm-up. [If you can’t answer this one without thinking, close up the test, and move on to something else. We have nothing further to discuss. QUESTION #2: Finish the line: “Lions and tigers and bears, _________!”…
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20 funny quotes for the day
Have you ever noticed…. Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? –George Carlin You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the heck she is. –Ellen…
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What happens when film producer loses his arm?
A film producer parks his brand new Porsche Carerra Cabriolet, and just as he swings the door open to get out, a truck speeds by and completely tears it off. The producer, ready to kill, grabs his cell phone, dials his assistant and tells her to dial 911 immediately. Soon a cop pulls up, but…
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Sydney’s Last Wishes For Harriet
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Harriet, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. “Sidney thought of everything, she told them.” Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. “Harriet,” he told me. “I have put all my…
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What people do if they love Jesus
The wife of a Southern Baptist preacher talks to her Sunday school class about a wonderful religious experience that she had last week: The other day I went up to the local Christian book store where I saw a “Honk If You Love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I…