Alternative Word Definitions

alternative word definitions

  • coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
  • flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
  • abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  • esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • willy-nilly, (adj.) impotent.
  • negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
  • lymph, (v.) to waslk with a lisp.
  • gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
  • flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
  • balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
  • testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
  • rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
  • pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
  • oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
  • Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
  • circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

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