If you’re a woman, follow these blonde commandments to rule your man.
If you are a man, know you have been had by a dumb blonde when this list describes you.
- If you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach you’re aiming too high.
- Women don’t make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
- The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you’re sick of him.
- Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home; he probably lies about other things too.
- A woman’s work which is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
- If you want a nice man, go for a bald one; they try harder.
- Go for younger men. You might as well; they never mature anyway.
- Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
- Definition of a man with manners: he gets out of the bath to pee.
- Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does already.
- Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men: one woman.
- There are a lot of words you can use to describe men; strong, caring, loving…they’d be wrong but you could still use them.
- Men are like animals; messy, insensitive, and potentially violent, but they make great pets.
- The brains of men are like the prison system; not enough cells per man.
- There are only two four-letter words that are offensive to men; “don’t” and “stop” (unless they’re used together).
- Husbands are like children; they’re fine if they’re someone else’s.
- If a man appears sexy, caring, and smart give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.
- All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.
- If your man appears happy, and excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden, he is probably checking out the women behind you.
- Figuring out men is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle in the car: once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don’t know where it goes.
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