Number 10: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 9: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the web and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6: Some people are like a Slinky… Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3: Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2: In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1: Thought For 2019: “Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow.”