10 Funny Truisms By Beauty Pageant Contestants

Truisms are statements or phrases that are so self-evident or obviously true that they hardly need to be said. While they often offer no new information or insight, they serve as basic principles or starting points for more complex discussions and arguments. “Obviously true” part depends on who you ask.

10 Truisms from Beauty Pageant Runner-Ups

1. Second place is just the first loser with a better sash.
2. The only thing worse than losing is having to smile about it for the camera.
3. They say it’s not about winning, it’s about the experience. Try telling that to my trophy shelf.
4. The judges didn’t choose me, but my 17 layers of makeup beg to differ
5. When they say ‘There’s always next year,’ they really mean ‘There’s always a lifetime of explaining why you didn’t win.’
6. The more hairspray you use, the less likely your dreams are to fly away.
7. Losing a pageant is like falling off a bike: it hurts, and people are probably filming it for the internet.
8. They say beauty is on the inside, but have you ever seen an X-ray win a beauty pageant?
9. A true runner-up knows how to clap so enthusiastically for the winner that it counts as a separate talent.
10. The best way to handle loss is to tell everyone you were just in it for the scholarship opportunities.

10 Truisms from the Winner of a Beauty Pageant

1. I may have won the crown, but the real prize is not having to compete again next year.
2. Winning isn’t about being the most beautiful; it’s about being the most prepared to look the most beautiful.
3. The key to victory is not tripping in heels—or if you do, make it look like part of your talent act.
4. There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team,’ but there sure is one in ‘win,’ ‘first place,’ and ‘me.’
5. A sash and crown don’t make you a queen, but they sure do help you feel like one.
6. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a crown is worth a thousand Instagram likes.
7. They say beauty is fleeting, but these bragging rights? Those are forever.
8. If winning a beauty pageant is superficial, then why does this crown feel so heavy?
9. The five Bs of pageant success: Beauty, Brains, Bravado, Balance, and Bribery for the judges.
10. People say it’s just a beauty pageant, but they won’t say that when I’m leveraging this win for world domination.