Signs With Twisted Translations
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. – Here speeching American.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today – no ice cream. (kein Eis?)
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Rome doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive Sideways.