Three men, whom we’ll call them Ryan, Larry, and Tom, found themselves in Hell after a sinful life.
They were a little confused at their present situation, and as they walked along they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen.
She was 4’2″, dirty, toothless, cross-eyed, and missing her bottom lip. You could smell her even over the brimstone.
The voice of the Devil was heard, “Tom, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!”
And Tom was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.
This understandably shook up the other two men, and so they both jumped when a second door opened and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong.
She was over 7 feet tall, monstrous, bald, drooling, clubfooted, missing an eye on one side and an ear on the other, and covered in thick, black hair. Pus oozed out of a large sore on her belly and flies circled around her deformed body.
The voice of the Devil was heard, “Ryan, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!”
And Ryan, like Brett, was whisked off to meet his fate.
Larry, now the last of three men and alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened.
And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of… Kate Upton!?! It was a miracle!!! Delighted, Larry jumped up, taking in the sight of Kate barely dressed in a revealing bikini.
Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying… “Kate, you have sinned….”