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ONLY IN AMERICA
- Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
- There are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
- Drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
- People order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
- Banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
- We leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
- We buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
- We use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin means ‘many’ and ‘tics’ means ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
- Banks have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
- A homeless combat veteran lives in a cardboard box and a draft dodger lives in the White House.