Tag: truisms
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20 funny quotes for the day
Have you ever noticed…. Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? –George Carlin You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the heck she is. –Ellen…
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T-shirts for women making a statement
Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies. Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. I hate everybody, and you’re next. And your point is… I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to…
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14 Life Lessons My Mother Taught Me
My Mother taught me LOGIC… “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” My Mother taught me MEDICINE… “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they’re going to freeze that way.” My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD… “If you don’t pass your spelling test,…
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Gentle Thoughts For Today
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog…
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Funny List Of Grammatical Oddities
Do these phrases make sense to you? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes? “When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why are a wise man and a wise…
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Newspaper Profiles
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country. The Washington Post is read by people who think they ought to run the country. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the…