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Single Woman’s Prayer

woman praying in church

Single women everywhere, take this prayer to heart about living the single woman’s life.

Memorize these truths about finding the perfect man, and you will be grateful for staying single.

Now that I lay me down to sleep,
Don’t send me any more creeps.

Please just send me one good man,
P.S. One without a wedding band.

One good man who’s sweet as pie,
Brushes his teeth and doesn’t lie.

A man who dresses neat and doesn’t smell,
And is sexy like my man Denzel.

Man, if I should die before I wake,
That would truly take the cake.

No matrimony or honeymoon,
No fancy reception planned for June.

No throwing of the wedding bouquet.
Just don’t let me go out that way.

If I die before I meet Mr. Right
I won’t go out without a fight.

But then again with my luck,
He’d probably be just some schmuck.

The single life is not that bad,
I know it’s just a passing fad.

I won’t be blue. I will not frown.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down.

No more makeup, won’t comb my hair.
So never mind this stupid prayer.

The single life will do just fine.


A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things:
1 – Women
2 – Fractions.


Ask any man, and he will tell you that any woman’s ultimate fantasy is to have two men at once.

While this has been verified by a recent sociological study, it appears that most men do not realize that, in this fantasy, one man is cooking and the other is cleaning.