34 Seminars Men Wish They Could Give To Women

The male staff will be offering a series of seminars for women of all marital status: please note, that this homework is mandatory.

1. Entertain Your Man Like A Pole Dancer
2. Combating the Impulse to Nag
3. You Can Change the Oil Too
4. PMS – Learning to Sleep Over at Mother’s
5. How to Fill a Beer Mug
6. We do not want Stationary for Christmas – PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERGARMENTS
7. Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness
8. How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load and Have More Time to Watch Football
9. Parenting – Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have Someone Other Than Him to Boss Around
10. How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right
11. Get a Life – Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself
12. Balancing a Checkbook – Even You Can Get it Right
13. You, the Whining Sex
14. Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S
15. How to Stay Awake During Sex
16. Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast
17. Shopping – Doing it in Less Than 16 Hours
18. #101 You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep
19. #102 It’s OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom
20. If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
21. How to Close the Garage Door
22. If You Don’t Want an Excuse, Don’t Demand an Explanation
23. Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous
24. How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia
25. Living Without Power Windows – How to Turn a Crank
26. Romanticism – The Whole Point of Caviare, Candles, and Conversation
27. How to Stay Alive While Your Husband is Relaxing
28. Putting On Something Sexy – Why it Won’t Ruin Your Brain
29. How to Act Younger Than Your Mother
30. You Too Can Carry a Backpack
31. Female Friendship – Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women Who Complain About You the Most
32. Apologizing for Farting When You’re On the Toilet is NOT Necessary
33. The Attainable Goal – Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving
34. Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel