AHUMORSITE
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Lawyers On Troubled Flight
An airliner was having engine trouble, so the pilot instructed the flight assistants to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers…
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Successful Gallbladder Operation
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death’s door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the…
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50 Practical Jokes In An Elevator
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!” Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly. Sell Girl…
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Funny answer after asking God for a parking spot
A man, late for an important meeting, was searching desperately for a parking spot in a crowded lot. Looking up to the sky he pleaded “Lord if you find me a parking spot, I promise to start going to church again.” The words were barely out of his mouth, when a spot opened up right…
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38 resume blunders by job candidates
“I am a rabid typist.” (And a maniac with numbers, no doubt.) “Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.” (If she insists …) “Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine.” (In the front office of a kennel, right?) “I don’t usually blow my own horn, but in this case, I will go right ahead and do…
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College Grad Sweeps Floor
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.” “But I’m a college graduate.” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I…