AHUMORSITE
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Magical Elevator
A boy and his father were visiting a mall for the very first time in their lives. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked,” What is this, dad?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,…
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Nerd Hunting Season
A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. He pulls over for a pit stop and approaching the door he sees a sign that says: NO NERDS. He shrugs it off and enters. He’s greeted by the…
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Woody Allen Quotes
Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to…
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English Language Oddities
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger. No does a pineapple contain any apples. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. If we explore the paradoxes of the English language, we find quicksand…
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Mr. Smith Passed Away
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm’s senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. “Is Mr. Smith there?” asked the client on the phone. “I’m very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night,” the receptionist answered. “Is Mr. Smith there?” repeated the client. The receptionist was perplexed. “Perhaps you didn’t…
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Sunday School Teacher
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her young students. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall…