AHUMORSITE
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Painting on the wall: ophthalmologist or gynecologist
A world famous painter started losing her eyesight in the prime of her career. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to…
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Country and Western Song Titles
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away? How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You…
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How men behave in public urinals
Excitable: Shorts half twisted around, can’t find hole, rips shorts. Sociable: Joins friends in pee, whether he has to go or not. Nosey: Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed. Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on left, pees into one in center. Timid: Can’t urinate if someone else is watching,…
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Strange ways to stop missionaries from entering home
A chalk outline of a human body on the sidewalk, and a few copies of The Watchtower scattered around… My mother (a second-generation atheist) used to say (in a very sweet voice): “I’m sorry, I don’t give a damn about Jesus.” Worked every time. The missionaries just backed off the porch in slack-jawed, bug-eyed disbelief.…
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Female peacocks not impressed by male peacock’s feathers
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When never is better than being late.
Ever wonder why you get to work looking like crap? Here is the answer: Promise it will not happen again!