How men behave in public urinals
Excitable: Shorts half twisted around, can’t find hole, rips shorts.
Sociable: Joins friends in pee, whether he has to go or not.
Nosey: Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
Cross-eyed: Looks into urinal on left, pees into one in center.
Timid: Can’t urinate if someone else is watching, flushes urinal anyway.
Indifferent: If all urinals are being used, pees in sink.
Clever: No hands. Shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pees on floor.
Worried: Is not sure of what he has been doing, makes a quick inspection.
Frivolous: Plays stream up and down and across urinal, tries to hit fly.
Absentminded: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pees in pants.
Disgusted: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
Sneaky: Farts silently while peeing, acts very innocent, knows that the man in the next stall will be blamed.
Childish: Leaks directly into the urinal bottom, likes to watch bubbles.
Patient: Stands very close for a long time waiting, reads newspaper with free hand.
Efficient: Waits until he has to take a crap, then does both.
Tough: Bangs dong against urinal to dry it.
Fat: Has to stand back to take a long blind shot, misses, pees in shoe.
Little: Stands on box, falls in.
Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand, pees in pants.
Impatient: Always in a hurry, pees down back of guy ahead of him.
Withdrawn: Places feet in urinal, pees down leg so no one hears.