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Man Asks For Directions

Unconfirmed reports are currently coming in to news bureaus that reportedly a man asks for directions near an intersection last night in downtown Columbus, Ohio.

If true, the development will be the first known case of its kind in the Western world.

The man, Frank N. Stein, 37, was on his way to meet friends to view “Jurassic World.”

According to the witnesses (four teenagers each sipping a separate 128-ounce Pepsi outside a convenience store), Stein, who was coming in from Cincinnati, had been driving around in circles for a good twelve hours.

Despite trying to present every appearance of knowing his route, onlookers report it became clear after only a few minutes that Stein had absolutely no idea where he was going.

“He looked like he would rather starve than be taken as a man who asks for directions. Finally I guess he just caved in,” commented one bystander.

For his part, Stein denies the allegations and asserts it is simply pure coincidence that a map fell out of his glove compartment and wide-open into his hands at the same time he was heard to blurt out the words, “Which-way-to-Oak-Street” in succession.