16 Essential Rules For Kitchen Sanity

Welcome to my kitchen where recipes are more for YouTubers than here.

In this home the kitchen is a place where take-out containers gather, and ‘cooking’ is synonymous with ‘why bother?’.

These 16 rules are about less fuss and more fun, with the secret ingredient being not having to cook at all.

1. If a messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, then this kitchen is delirious.
2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
3. Sit – Give Thanks – Eat – Praise the cook
4. This kitchen is closed due to illness: I’m sick of cooking.
5. If we are what we eat, then I’m easy, fast, and cheap.
6. The only self-cleaning thing in this kitchen is the cat.
7. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
8. Keep this kitchen clean: eat out.
9. Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
10. My next house will have no kitchen, only vending machines.
11. I do my part to keep the planet green: just look in my refrigerator.
12. God blesses this kitchen, but He doesn’t clean it.
13. I like hugs and I like kisses, but what I’d love is help with the dishes.
14. Make yourself at home: clean my kitchen.
15. I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
16. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.