Categories
Lists

Humorous Truisms

puzzled woman

Truisms never fade away, but always remain facts of life.

These humorous truisms help you stay sane in an insane world.

Money talks: it just says good-bye.

The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.

The best way to cure your wife of a case of nerves is to tell her it’s caused by advancing age.

There are usually two sides to every argument, but no end.

Most of us know how to say nothing, yet few of us know when.

You are getting old when your back goes out more often than you do.

The trouble with opportunity is that it’s always more recognizable going than coming.

The man/woman who thinks he/she knows it all is a pain in the neck to those of us who really do.

The perfect age is when children are too old to cry at night and too young to borrow the car.

Neurotics build air castles. Psychotics live in them. Psychiatrists collect the rent.

A pun is a form of humor that causes everyone to groan and is meant to punish the hearers.

School days are the best days of your life…provided your children are old enough to go.

The loudest snorer is always the first one to get to sleep.

Social tact is making your company feel at home even though you wish they were.

Smoking a cigarette won’t send you to hell. It just makes you smell like you’ve been there.

A vacation is a period of travel and relaxation when you take twice the clothes and half the money you need.