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Funny Classified Ads

2 female Boston Terrier puppies: 7 weeks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food is expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

Dinner Special: Turkey $235; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

For sale: An antique desk suitable for ladies with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in the factory.

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.

Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: One.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Wanted: Chambermaid in the rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

Man wanted to work in a dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted: Man to take care of a cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore is unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust the tension in your home for $1.00.

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