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Quotes

Famous Sex Quotes

lessons in sex

What comedians and celebrities have to say about sex.

“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.”
Tom Clancy

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
Steve Martin

“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
Drew Carey

“Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.”
Dick Brandon

“Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.”
Richard Feynman

“All pop music is about sex. Rock is about wanting to do it, jazz is about doing it, and country and western is about feeling guilty after you’ve done it.”
Robert Waldo Brunelle, Jr.

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
Woody Allen

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
George Burns

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
Matt Barry

“Men won’t stop and ask for directions because driving is too much like sex: they can’t stop until they get where they’re going.”
Diane Jordan

“My kid had sex with your honor student.”
Bumper Sticker

“Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”
Michael Sinz

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
George Burns

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
Henry Miller

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is a Mercedes-Benz convertible.”
P. J. O’Rourke