How Congress Operates

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap heap in the middle of a remote desert.

Congress said someone may steal a part of during the night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position, and hired a person to carry out the mission.

Then Congress asked, “How can the watchman do his job without proper instruction?”

So they created a planning division and hired two people, one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”

They formed a quality control (QC) division and hired two people, one (GS-9) to do the studies and one (GS-11) to write the reports.

Then Congress said wisely, “How are all these people going to get paid?”

For this they needed to make a payroll division with a time keeper (GS-9) and a payroll officer (GS-11). Two people were hired to perform the tasks.

Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”

They created an administrative division and hired three people: an Admin Officer (GM-13), Assistant Admin Officer (GS-13), and a Legal Secretary (GS-8).

One year later, when Congress reviewed the cost of maintaining the vast desert scrap heap, they declared, “We are $18,000 over budget. We must cut back excess costs.”

So they eliminated the night watchman.