Categories
One-Liners

Classic One-Line Jokes

old-time microphone on stage

These funny one-line jokes have withstood the test of time.

Here is a sampling of jokes on marriage, men and women: sometimes they mix in the funniest ways.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don’t like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
It’s called wedding cake.

Marriage is a three-ring circus.
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault.
My wife asked me “What’s on TV?” and I said “Dust!”

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

A man inserted an advertisement in the paper “Wife Wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred replies.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

The most effective way to remember your wives’ birthday.
Forget it once.