Category: Lists
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Gentle Thoughts For Today
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car. There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt. When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog…
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Top Twenty Signs You’re From New York City
You say “the city” and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on…
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13 Additional Warning Labels On Bottles of Alcohol
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. Consumption of alcohol may…
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Nose-Picking Dictionary
Deep Salvage Pick Reminiscent of the deep sea exploration to find the Titanic ship, you probe deep into your nasal passages. Utensil Pick When fingers, and even your thumb, just aren’t enough to get the job done to your satisfaction. Extra Pick When you have been digging for nuggets hours upon hours and suddenly you…
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Top 21 Inventions By Blondes
The water-proof towel Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Mechanical Pencil sharpeners Powdered water Pedal-powered wheel chairs Waterproof tea bags Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alcohol Reuseable ice cubes See-through toilet tissue Skinless bannanas Do-it-yourself road map Turnip…
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Daily Exercise for the Non-Athlete
Activity Beating around the bush Jumping to conclusions Climbing the walls Swallowing your pride Passing the buck Throwing your weight around Pushing your luck Making mountains out of molehills Wading through paperwork Juggling deadlines Balancing the books Running around in circles Bending over backwards Opening a can of worms Tooting your own horn Reinventing the…