Category: Jokes
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Pending Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made…
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Elderly Man Visits The Doctor With Embarrassing Problem
An elderly man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, accompanied by his wife. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the elderly gentleman, “I need a urine and stool sample from you.” Being hard of hearing, he looks at his wife and asks, “What does he want?” His wife answers in…
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How Friend Lost Fortune Because of Secret Visit
Bob and his buddy Jack decided to go skiing for their spring break. They loaded up Bob’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard and pulled into a nearby farm. They asked the attractive woman who answered the door if they could spend the night.…
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Man’s Complete Guide To Answering “Do I Look Fat?”
It is Saturday, a crisp autumn afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the couch in front of a televised sporting event. Opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television.…
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Gender Of A Fly
Bill said, “Know what, Larry? I killed five flies yesterday, three males and two females.” “How could you tell them apart, Bill?” asked Larry. Bill answered, “That was easy. The three males were sitting on a case of beer and the two females were on the phone.”
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How Lawyer In A Marathon Wins The Race
Tommy and Alex entered the marathon event. After they’d been running for awhile, they were passed by a runner. “I know that guy,” Tommy said, “That’s Bill Rodgers he won the race a couple of years ago.” A few minutes later, another racer passed them with long, loping strides. “And that was Grete Waitz!” Alex exclaimed.…