Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Computer Warranty
After buying a computer from a dealer of shady repute, the hapless customer unpacked his new toy and plugged it in to find it Dead On Arrival. Naturally, after checking the usual things (accepted for the computer warranty), he called the dealer and explained the problem. First question from Deviously Evasive Dealer (DED): “Did you check to see…
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Brief English Dictionary Written By A Dog
BATH This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. BICYCLES Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a…
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Engineer Personality Quiz
Does a person have the personality traits of an engineer? The following questions would help determine that. Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer? A: When he realizes he doesn’t have the charisma to be an undertaker. Q: What do engineers use for birth control? A: Their personalities. Q: How can you…
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Evils of Marjuana
A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana. Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors. “Used regularly,” he explained, “Pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!” “Now wait a minute, professor,” interrupted a student.…
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Drunken Irishman
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and his car is weaving all over the road. A police officer finally spots the car and pulls him over. “So,” says the cop to the driver, “where might you have you been?” “Why, I’ve been to…
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Hypnotic Watch Trick
It was opening night at the Orpheum and The Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, “Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a…