Author: Leonard Kreicas
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Woody Allen Quotes
Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to…
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English Language Oddities
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger. No does a pineapple contain any apples. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. If we explore the paradoxes of the English language, we find quicksand…
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Mr. Smith Passed Away
A law firm receptionist answered the phone the morning after the firm’s senior partner had passed away unexpectedly. “Is Mr. Smith there?” asked the client on the phone. “I’m very sorry, but Mr. Smith passed away last night,” the receptionist answered. “Is Mr. Smith there?” repeated the client. The receptionist was perplexed. “Perhaps you didn’t…
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Sunday School Teacher
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her young students. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall…
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Mailbox For Blondes
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mailbox and again opened…
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Pregnancy Questions Answered
Answers To 10 Common Pregnancy Questions Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex? A:Childbirth. Q: My…