17 Signs Of A Bad Date

  1. Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date her mother
  2. signs of a bad dateYou find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her
  3. She has a thicker moustache than you
  4. When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions
  5. You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole
  6. Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system
  7. You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass
  8. You are the first guy that she’s gone out with that isn’t her cousin
  9. At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic
  10. She beats the crap out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut
  11. At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill
  12. You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh
  13. She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then asks if you want to meet Satan
  14. She is better hung than you
  15. She constantly complains that her cat won’t stop laughing at her
  16. She tells you she won’t date you because her spirit guide says you are not the one
  17. She informs you that you can’t go out again because her boyfriend doesn’t like you