In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines:
Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
Notice in a dry cleaner’s window:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of
Sign on motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps
Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
Spotted in a toilet of a New York office building:
Toilet out of order. please use floor below
Outside a secondhand shop:
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain
Notice in health food shop window:
Closed due to illness
Spotted in a National Park:
Bears please stay in your car
On a church door:
This is the gate of heaven. enter ye all by this door.
This door is kept locked because of the draft.
(please use side door.)
Outside a photographer’s studio:
Out to lunch:
If not back by five,
Out for dinner also
Outside a disco:
Disco Nights is the most exclusive disco in town, everyone is welcome
Sign warning of quicksand:
Quicksand. any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the district council.
Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:
Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order
In a London department store
Bargain basement upstairs
Sign on two doors in a Kaiser building in Sacramento, California:
Rash Door
