Tag: marriage
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Jewish Husband
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play. “Wonderful. What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.” The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”
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Husband’s revenge in the kitchen
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going…
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Funny Marriage Quotes
The truth about marriage from these funny marriage quotes Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding…
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Bad Anniversary Gift For Angry Wife
Belated anniversary present on the driveway that goes from zero to two hundred in under six seconds. What to get your as a last-minute anniversary gift.
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Barber catches his cheating wife
A man asks the barber in a shop, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around, seeing a lot of customers, said, “About 2 hours.” The guy left but didn’t return that day. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before…
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Marriage after 40 years
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now…