Women especially love a bargain. The question of “need” is irrelevant, so don’t bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear. Don’t question the racks of clothes in the closet; you “Just don’t understand”.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer in an effort to trap a man into feeling guilty.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That’s why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there’s a spider or a wasp involved.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

Women can’t refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what they’re doing. It might be the lottery calling.

Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn’t need toys if women had an “on/off” switch.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

Women don’t understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he’ll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she’ll pack 21 outfits because she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing each day.

Women do NOT know anything about cars. “Oil-stick, oil doesn’t stick?”

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ‘How do I look?’

“Oh, nothing,” has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

All women are overweight by definition, don’t argue with them about it.

All women are overweight by definition, don’t agree with them about it.

If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a gift shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, “What did you do?”

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they “Left the seat up” instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.