The following are the top three winners of a “Most Embarrassing Moments Contest” in the “New Woman Magazine.”

Embarrassing Moment #1

While in line at the supermarket one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from the other shoppers.

I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now,” she would be punished.

She looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,

“If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing daddy’s pee-pee last night!”

The silence was deafening after this surprising retort.

Even the cashiers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the store with my daughter.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Amy Richardson; Stafford, Virginia

Embarrassing Moment #2

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday.

I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone.

As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs.

I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.

Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, “SURPRISE!”

My entire family of aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins were standing there, along with my friends.

My girlfriend and I stood in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.

Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party for us again.

Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York

Embarrassing Moment #3

One of the funniest “most-embarrassing-moment” stories I’ve come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store.

When she finally arrived at the check-out counter, she found that one of her items had no price tag.

Imagine her consternation when the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out loud for all the store to hear, “PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.”

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word “TAMPAX” for “THUMBTACKS.”

In a business-like tone, a voice shot back over the pa system:

“DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?”