The Politically Correct Way To Speak To A Woman

The Politically Correct way to talk about women.

  • She is not a BABE or a CHICK
    She is a BREASTED AMERICAN
  • She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE
    She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT
  • She is not a BAD COOK
    She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
  • She is not HALF NAKED
    She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED
  • She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY
    She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED
  • She is not CONCEITED
    She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES
  • She does not GAIN WEIGHT
    She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER
  • She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
    She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
  • She is not EASY
    She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
  • She does not TEASE or FLIRT
    She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION
  • She is not DUMB
    She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
  • She is not TOO SKINNY
    She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT
  • She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE
    She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
  • She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS
    She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT
  • She has not BEEN AROUND
    She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
  • She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
    She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE
  • She does not GET YOU EXCITED
    She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT
  • She is not KINKY
    She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION
  • She does not have a KILLER BODY
    She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
  • She does not GO SHOPPING
    She is MALL FLUENT
  • She is not an AIRHEAD
    She is REALITY IMPAIRED
  • She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
    She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
  • She does not get FAT or CHUBBY
    She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY
  • She is not COLD or FRIGID
    She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE
  • She is not HORNY
    She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED
  • She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP
    She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION
  • She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
    She is GRAVITY RESISTANT
  • She does not NAG YOU
    She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
  • She is not a SLUT
    She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED
  • She is not LOOSE
    She is MORALLY IMPAIRED
  • She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
    She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR
  • She does not have THIN LIPS
    She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT