How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
Why don’t blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag.
Why does a pilgrim’s pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
What do you call skydiving lawyers?
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.
When in use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm fleshy, moist opening, where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements. What is it?
This useful tool is commonly about 8 inches long.
The functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes, it is usually found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action.
It boasts a clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.
In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, into a warm fleshy, moist opening, where it is thrust in and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and accompanied by squirming bodily movements.
Anyone found listening in would most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sound resulting from its well-lubricated movements.
When finally drawn out it leaves behind a juicy, frothy sticky white substance, some of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some from it’s long glistening shaft.
After everything is done, and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or three times a day, but often much less.
What am I ???????
As you may have already guessed, the answer to the riddle is none other than your very own toothbrush.
What were you thinking?