Senior Visits Doctor For Medical Checkup

Funny quotes flash presentation.

medical checkup

Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup.

“Everything is fine,” said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.”

“For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80?”

“Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?”

“No,” Sam replied.

“Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?”

“No,” said Sam. “I am very careful about what I eat.”

“How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing?

“No,” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.”

“Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?

Text codes for seniors

  • ATD – At the Doctor’s
  • BFF – Best Friends Funeral
  • BTW – Bring the Wheelchair
  • BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth
  • CBM – Covered by Medicare
  • CUATSC – See You at the Senior Center
  • DWI – Driving While Incontinent
  • FWIW – Forgot Where I Was
  • GGPBL – Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
  • GHA – Got Heartburn Again
  • HGBM – Had Good Bowel Movement
  • LMDO – Laughing My Dentures Off
  • LOL – Living on Lipitor
  • OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas
  • TOT– Texting on Toilet
  • WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?
  • WTF – When’s The Funeral?

Signs of Old Age

Sign of growing old taken with a grain of salt.

elderly hand with caneOld is when….
Your sweetie says lets go upstairs and make love and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both.”

Old is when….
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you are barefoot.

Old is when….
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pace maker opens the garage door.

Old is when….
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

Old is when….
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

Old is when….
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.

Old is when….
Getting a little action means I don’t have to take any fiber today.

Old is when….
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

Old is when….
An all-nighter means not getting up to pee.