Stowaway On The Staten Island Ferry

Depressed young woman is taken advantage of by a handsome young sailor

Staten Island Ferry
Fictional story of how an innocent beautiful young lady gets deceived by a sailor aboard the Staten Island Ferry.

A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said,

“Look, you’ve got a lot to live for. I’m off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every day.”

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, “I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

The girl nodded. What did she have to lose? That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I had an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she explained. “He’s taking me to Europe, and every night he came and screwed me.”

“He sure did, lady,” said the captain.

“This is the Staten Island Ferry.”

Warning for guys

How young women take advantage of older men.

warning for guys

Parking-lot Warning For Guys

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc.

This is a warning for guys who may be regular Lowe’s, Home Depot, or Costco customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.

Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-something girls come over to your car as you are packing your merchandise into the trunk.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, wearing skimpy t-shirts.

It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say “No” and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get into the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing.

Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th.

Also September 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 20th, 21st, 23rd, 24th, and 29th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of older men.

Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K-Mart and bought them out.

By the way¬†you never will get to eat at McDonalds and I have already lost 11 pounds just going back and forth to Lowe’s, Home Depot, and Costco.

Dead Donkey Raffle

A concrete-truck driver moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day, the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.”

“Well, then, just give me my money back.”

“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

“OK, then. Just unload the donkey.”

“What ya gonna do with him?”

“I’m going to raffle him off.”

“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

“Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with the readi-mix driver and asked, “What happened with that dead donkey?”

“I raffled him off. I sold 500 hundred tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.”

“Didn’t anyone complain?”

“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”