Country and Western Song Titles

  • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
  • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ‘Cause I’m Kissing You Goodbye
  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  • How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?
  • How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
  • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  • I Don’t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  • I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

Redneck Quotes

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?”

The driver says, “‘Bout what?”


Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.

When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’ bag?”

“Jes’ some chickens.”

“If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”

“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of ’em!”

“OK. Ummmmm…five?”


An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire.

He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here – muh house is on fahr!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?”

“Shucks, don’t you fellers still have those big red trucks?”


Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

Because they heard 17 and under aren’t admitted.


Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

“Where do you live?” asked the operator.

Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.

” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”

After a long pause, Bubba said, “How ’bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”


Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.


What do they call reruns of “Hee Haw” in Mississippi?

Documentaries


Where was the toothbrush invented?

Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.


Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.


A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they’re still brother and sister.


What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.


How do you know when you’re staying in a Kentucky hotel?

When you call the front desk and say “I’ve got a leak in my sink,” and the person at the front desk says, “Go ahead”

Travis’ Wife Gets Pregnant

Travis and Clem were talking one afternoon when Travis tells Clem,

Mary Lou“Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation.

Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different.

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said go to California.

I went to California and Mary Lou got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you had me visit Ohio.

Mary Lou got pregnant again.

Last year you said take a trip to Texas and darned if Mary Lou didn’t get pregnant again.”

Clem asks Travis, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

Travis says, “This year I’m taking Mary Lou with me.”