Half-Empty or Half-Full Glass of Milk?

Besides the optimists and pessimists view of a half-empty glass, here are others reactions when somebody leaves a half-glass of milk next to a computer.

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Apple Computer: You guys really should be drinking Perrier.

Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow’s contribution to all mankind!

Futurist: The milk’s in the wrong half of the glass.

Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

IBM: Rent the glass from us and we’ll fill it with something we know is good for you.

CIA: What makes you think that’s milk?

NSA: We know what it really is.

National news media: Hey, we wanted orange juice!

Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn’t pay for it!

Feminist: How come HIS glass is bigger than MINE?

Idealist: In a decent world, this glass would be filled to the brim and big enough for everyone to enjoy.

Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers: No thanks; I’m still breast-feeding.