A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist.
The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window.
He immediately tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That is correct,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks.
“Yes,” says the woman, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.”
“That’s right,” replies the doctor.
He then begins to have his way with the woman.
He says to her, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she says.
“You’re getting herpes, which is why I came here in the first place.”
A world famous painter started losing her eyesight in the prime of her career.
Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.
After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor’s office.
Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall.
When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor’s office.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor,
“What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office…especially that large eye on the wall?”
To this, the eye doctor responded, “I said to myself.”
“‘Thank God I’m not a gynecologist.'”
Patient: “Doc, give me something that will stimulate me, excite me, put me in the fighting spirit.”
Doctor: “Don’t worry. You will find it all in your bill.”
A doctor examined his patient and give him six months to live.
The poor man could not pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
A couple visited a clinic and asked, “Doc, we want to have sex in front
of you. Can you please check whether we do it correctly?”.
The doctor agreed and charged a fee of $20. The following week the same thing happened. When they came a third time, the doctor asked for an explanation.
The man said, “If we have sex in her house, her husband will get angry. In my house, my wife will kill me. A hotel room costs $80. But you charge only $20 and I can claim $10 from health insurance.”