Secrets from parked car in the woods

Tales of car in the woods

Little Billy watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods.

Curious, Billy followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Kate in a passionate embrace.

Little Billy found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

“Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Kate.

“I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Kate a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.

“Then Aunt Kate helped Daddy take his pants off, and then Aunt Kate…”

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, “Billy, this is such an
interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.

“I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

At the dinner table, Mommy asked Billy to tell his story.

Billy started his story, “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Kate.

“I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Kate a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.

“Then Aunt Kate helped Daddy take his pants off, and then Aunt Kate and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Jim used to do when Daddy was at work.”

18-Point List on Marriage Relationship – Fact or Fiction?

You decide on whether this 18-point list tells the truth on the health of marriages today.

bride and groom hold hands
Designed by Freepik

Definition of Marriage: the social institution under which a man and woman (in love) establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc., and live happily ever after… or…

Fact or fiction (you make the call):

  1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
  2. After marriage, husband and wife becomes two sides of a coin…they can’t face each other, but, they still stay together.
  3. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
  4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
  5. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  6. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something she says. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finishes talking.
  7. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
  8. They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, that is LOVE. After marriage, that is SELF DEFENSE.
  9. A wife becomes a “SEX OBJECT” when every time the husband asks for sex, she objects.
  10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  11. There are two four-letter words that are offensive to men in marriage – “don’t” and “stop”, unless, they are used together.
  12. Marriage is an institution where the man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s Degree.
  13. In marriage, a man can have words with his wife, but, a woman can have paragraphs with her husband.
  14. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
  15. There are 3 stages of SEX in a married life: Tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.
  16. LOVE is a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm clock.
  17. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
  18. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence … a LIFE SENTENCE.

Wife Gets Every Her Wish By Her Husband

Wife gets everything wants, but then there’s a catch.

MAN: “Hello” 

WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club? 

MAN: “Yes” 

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. 

It’s only $10,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.” 

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2019 models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?” 

WOMAN: “$200,000

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.” 

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking only $1,950,000”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1,900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it’s really a pretty good price.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!” 

MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.” 

The man hangs up. The other men in the place are staring at him in astonishment at what he said.

He turns and asks the guys: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”