Bad Surprise Anniversary Gift For Angry Wife

Belated anniversary present on the driveway that goes from zero to two hundred in under six seconds. What to get your as a last-minute anniversary gift.

anniversary gift for angry wifeCharlie was in trouble.

He forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really angry.

She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Nobody has seen Charlie since Saturday.

Chasing The Cat

What not say as an excuse. Man manhandles his pet cat.

chasing the catA couple were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.

They turned on the night light, turned the answering machine on, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They called the local cab company to request a taxi.

The taxi arrived and they opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat they put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.

The cat shouldn’t be shut in the house because it always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi, while the husband goes inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, with him in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.

She explains to the taxi driver that the husband will be out soon: “He’s just going upstairs to say good night to my mother.”

A few minutes later, when the husband gets into the cab he says:

“Sorry I took so long.

That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.

I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!

She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.

Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.

But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car.