Real Estate Ad Guide

cabin in the woods

Real estate ads:
Fact or Fiction?

Finally an explanation onĀ  the hidden language of a real estate ad, with real-life examples.

Memorize this list of how homes and properties are described to break the real estate ads code.

  • Sophisticated city living means: Next to noisy bar
  • Old World Charm means: Has some woodwork and needs cleaning
  • Contemporary Feeling means: Has no woodwork or furnishings
  • Close to lakes means: Impossible to reach the street, except in summer
  • Picturesque setting means: Abandoned cars and waist-high weeds in neighboring lots
  • Wide-open floor plan means: Previous owner removed supporting walls
  • Updated kitchen means: Sink no longer overflows
  • Security system means: Neighbor has mean dog
  • Needs TLC means: Major structural damage
  • Motivated seller means: Could not sell the home for 10 years
  • Convenient location means: Next to freeway entrance ramp
  • Mint condition means: Mouthwash spilled on carpet
  • Neutral decor means: No mural of nudes or Elvis
  • Move-in condition means: Front door missing
  • Cozy means: Each room is the size of a closet
  • Lower-level family room means: Ping-pong table covers sewer opening
  • Light, open spaces means: Holes in walls and missing insulation
  • Outstanding means: Sticks out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood