Chasing The Cat

What not say as an excuse. Man manhandles his pet cat.

chasing the catA couple were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party.

They turned on the night light, turned the answering machine on, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They called the local cab company to request a taxi.

The taxi arrived and they opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat they put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door.

The cat shouldn’t be shut in the house because it always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi, while the husband goes inside to get the cat.

The cat runs upstairs, with him in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn’t want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night.

She explains to the taxi driver that the husband will be out soon: “He’s just going upstairs to say good night to my mother.”

A few minutes later, when the husband gets into the cab he says:

“Sorry I took so long.

That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed.

I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!

She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck.

Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me.

But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car.

How a man tries to get rid of cat, but fails.

cat waits by door

A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

When he reached his driveway, there was the cat.

He kept taking the cat further and further but the cat would always beat him home.

One day he decided to drive hundreds of miles away.

He drove out of town, through the desert and into the next state until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home.

He let the cat out and headed back.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?”

“Yes,” the wife answers. “Why do you ask?”

“Put him on the phone,” the man replies. “I’m lost and need directions to get back.”