bats in belfry of Church of England

Solving The Bat Problem

Three ministers were talking about their concerns with the infestation of bats in the belfry of their churches.

The first complained: “I shot at them with a shotgun, but it only spoiled the woodwork.”

The second minister said: “I tried a more humane approach by first netting them and then releasing them 10 miles away. But they beat me back to the church!”

The third (who was looking very cocky) boasted: “I caught them, and baptized and confirmed each one. I haven’t seen them since.”


Bats were reported to be a problem in England a few years ago according to the article Bats in the Belfry a serious matter for the Church of England.

Bats are making life unbearable for congregations by defecating on worshippers from roofs as well as bell towers, according to a report to the Church Buildings Council of the Church of England.

“Bats in churches are no joke for those who have to clean up the mess behind,” said Anne Sloman, chair of the council. “Their presence in large numbers is making it impossible for us to open churches for a whole variety of social and community uses as well as making life miserable for worshippers, and we are seriously worried about the irreparable damage bats are causing to priceless church artifacts.”

In reality belfries, those high church towers, became cozy hideouts for these winged creatures, causing damage to the historic buildings. Plus, the bat droppings posed serious health risks to churchgoers.

The Church of England decided to tackle this batty issue head-on. They obtained special licenses to relocate the bats and protect their cherished landmarks while keeping their commitment to wildlife conservation.

While bats and churches might seem like an odd pair, this unusual problem showed how traditions and nature can coexist with a bit of effort. Congrats to the Church of England for facing this winged challenge with seriousness and some English humor.

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