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You’ve been out of college too long when…..
- Your potted plants stay alive.
- Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
- 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
- You carry an umbrella.
- You watch the Weather Channel.
- Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’
- You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go op.
- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
- You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
- Dinner and a movie: the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
- MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
- You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’.
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. Grocery lists are longer than: macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi, Ho-ho’s
- ‘I just can’t drink the way I used to’ replaces ‘I’m never going to drink that much again’
- Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
- You don’t get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.